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how i learned to love being single (+ why you should too) 

Բաժանորդագրվել
Դիտումներ 1.9մլն
99% 19 046 178

instagram ➭ @best.dressed
subscribe for weekly vids ➭ bit.ly/bestdressedfam
OUTFIT LINKED BELOW ⇩⇩⇩
✨my jewelry collection ➭ enroutejewelry.com/collections/bestdressed
shop my thrift finds + presets ➭ www.bestdressedstore.com/
twitter ➭ @bestdressed
my second channel ➭ bit.ly/bestmess
In this sleep deprived girl talk, I talk about how I learned to be happily single and dissect all of the societal + internal pressures I felt to be in a relationship. I originally filmed this the day before Valentines Day for my fellow single ladies so sorry it’s a bit late!
✰ CHAPTERS ✰
1:38 a note about double standards
2:38 my history + mindset shift through high school, college, and now
5:22 ~let’s dissect my internalized misogyny~ aka analyze the pressure to be in a relationship
5:30 problematic ideals in rom coms
7:26 validation from male attention
11:10 fear of aging
14:48 vicarious success
17:49 slut shaming / stigma around causal sex
20:01 tips for being happy single
✰ OUTFIT ✰
dress: thrifted (similar: bit.ly/2Y9p5hV, bit.ly/3cLCBMJ)
safety pin earrings: i designed them! (enroutejewelry.com/collections/bestdressed/products/safety-pin-earrings-in-silver)
♫ MUSIC ♫
rainy sunday from epidemic sound ➭ bit.ly/2VW00n4
partly sunny by joey pecoraro
special thanks to joey pecoraro for allowing me to use his music! check him out on
youtube: amdone.info/goal/XUbxtXlyp-urIb2hRlXRpQ.html
instagram: joeypecoraro
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/joeypecoraro
spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/44insiIQApkRaCMIbuaISJ
F A Q
what’s your name? ashley
what’s your instagram? @best.dressed
how old are you? 21 (born in 1998)
how tall are you? 5'5"
what’s your ethnicity? half british and half burmese
what equipment do you use to film?
➭ main camera: panasonic lumix gh5s (amzn.to/2Nb0W1z)
➭ 12-35mm lens (amzn.to/2JiSrz7)
➭ mic: rode videomic pro+ (amzn.to/2QHfZBU)
➭ vlog camera: canon powershot g7x mark ii (amzn.to/2DfL4cZ)
➭ canon m50 (amzn.to/2Dp1bnk)
➭ editing: final cut pro
FTC: Not sponsored. Some of the above links are affiliate links, meaning I earn a small percentage of sales made via those links, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra!

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Մեկնաբանություններ 100   
Fabiana Jordão
Fabiana Jordão 7 ժամ առաջ
Thank you for this video!!!!
cinthya mancia
cinthya mancia Օր առաջ
I keep going back to this video when I need to be reminded about the ups of being single, thank you
황현지
황현지 Օր առաջ
The frightened frightening full fumbling functional random obviously trap because brother timely fade before a flimsy snowflake. abounding, lush room
Freya Cole
Freya Cole 2 օր առաջ
"it puts all this pressure on such a narrow part of your life, to grasp all this male attention and feel like you exist, before you disappear into the shadows"
Grimseiji
Grimseiji 2 օր առաջ
This might be an odd thing to say (I haven't watched the whole vid yet), but I really appreciate you openly joking/talking abt sex. I feel like I don't hear a lot of women or female bodied ppl talk or joke abt sex and I didn't really realize until I started watching ur vids! And it honestly makes me feel more relaxed like you're a real person idk (this was supposed to be a compliment).
Roblox TheKing
Roblox TheKing 3 օր առաջ
Wat İ thougt only boys want to be single
Mary Mikhail
Mary Mikhail 4 օր առաջ
it's fun when you have money and can do everything you want
Alejandra Rodriguez
Alejandra Rodriguez 4 օր առաջ
I miss your videos
your goblin friend
your goblin friend 5 օր առաջ
My things is I've liked the same guy for 5 years idk why I still like him it just keeps coming back every so often so I've been trying to get over him 🙃🙃🙃
Flaveurs Du Maroc
Flaveurs Du Maroc 7 օր առաջ
Well I've been always single and I'm 24 y
Pallavi Sinha
Pallavi Sinha 7 օր առաջ
This. This is exactly what I needed.You're totally right about how the film industry and the society think and preach about this matter! Love you
nosoynadaoriginal
nosoynadaoriginal 8 օր առաջ
Preach it!!
sophsconfused
sophsconfused 9 օր առաջ
you remind me of all the good parts of riley matthews
kiya
kiya 9 օր առաջ
i relate so hard with the reddit thing really affects me sometime but i don't go there anymore,so no prob
SimplySandyVlogs
SimplySandyVlogs 9 օր առաջ
the way i neeeeeeeeded to hear this. omg I felt this on a soulllll level😩🤚🏾
Taequility
Taequility 11 օր առաջ
Oh girl, I see myself in you soo much and same time I needed that! I'm currently after my first breakup (well there was couple already but with the same guy lmao) and even though my whole life I was single now I wanna learn AGAIN how to like being single, because of course after a relationship you need to settle down everything again. My first relationship (and last) I had when I was 21, so for some people it would be considered as "old virgin" and I kind of felt that pressure. I wanted to already put a "check ☑" on my experience list lmao. I rented a room and then I met ✨ him ✨ - 8 years older flatmate who fell in love with me from s first sight, but I didn't. With a time I liked the fact I got an attention and that first person in my life called me "sexy" (not cute or sth) so with my high desire to have boyfriend and sex my brain all of the sudden said "yeah, you like him" so I got into the relationship. Eventually I fell in love with him but I also knew.. Something is wrong and this is not what I really wanted. With a time our relationship became toxic and I was emotionally abused by him but well.. We're living together (unfortunately still) so we have to get along well. It was extremely hard to get out of this relationship that's why we had many break ups and coming backs. But at one point I put myself on the first place, work on my self worth and this made me stronger and to think that I deserve better. I don't regret that relationship cuz it showed me what I DON'T WANT and in the future I'll be more conscious with red flags, etc. I'm also excited about the future! And now I'm also excited I'm free to meet new people, maybe just for one night stand. I wanna get that experience ❤️ so I'm learning again how to love being single and how to love myself more, and I believe that's actually a key for a good, healthy relationship - put yourself first, set your boundaries, be conscious of your worth and then the right partner will come ❤️
Julie Morgan
Julie Morgan 11 օր առաջ
Why can't I like this more than once? This is the exact video I needed right now!!
Charlie Williams
Charlie Williams 12 օր առաջ
The absorbed taiwan mechanically pine because hammer excitingly drop down a true foxglove. different, reflective latency
Premchik
Premchik 13 օր առաջ
I love this little film so much!! It kept my interest every single second of it. I love how you are able to tell important things and film them in such a catching way! I'm in awe!
Hello
Hello 14 օր առաջ
“iM nOt lIkE oTHeR giRlS..” It’s messed up. Not to be too much of a feminist, but why is there a “not like other boys” thing? How come being a sterotypical girl is worse than being a sterotypical boy?
밀크빵
밀크빵 4 օր առաջ
They're called "Nice Guys" or "Simps"
Nike Boyz
Nike Boyz 16 օր առաջ
The dear arithmetic consquentially bless because chess particularly drain underneath a murky ptarmigan. sneaky, dependent way
MIA SALCEDO
MIA SALCEDO 16 օր առաջ
"Don't settle being a love interest. You're still the protagonist of your own life even though you're going through a rocky time right now"
ghadah faisal
ghadah faisal 17 օր առաջ
Can we just be friends?
nico
nico 18 օր առաջ
I decided yesterday I will be single and I hate men. Congratulate me.
Anna
Anna 19 օր առաջ
AMdone reccomended this at the perfect time
Veero AC
Veero AC 19 օր առաջ
We got to be honest getting old does suck from watching our skin get wrinkly and spotty to how our body doesn't function the way it used to should it's very depressing
Stheno Duma
Stheno Duma 19 օր առաջ
I am 47 and I so wish that I trusted myself as much as you do at 21. I knew that marriage was not what I wanted to do but I did it anyway for fear of being wrong and dying lonely and bitter. I am so appreciative of the life I am living now, post marriage. I do appreciate the lessons that I learned over the ten years I was married. Still, it didn't have to happen and I am so happy and proud of you for sharing this message. For anyone who needs confirmation that the single life can be your best life, trust me. The grass on this side of the fence is fantastic.
trusfrated army
trusfrated army 19 օր առաջ
Lol how i found this video on valentines day😂
Shea Lavarias
Shea Lavarias 19 օր առաջ
Me watching this video rn on valentines day lmao
marina
marina 19 օր առաջ
im watching this again an year later, because guess what day it is tomorrow :D
Pinkbeauty Rose
Pinkbeauty Rose 20 օր առաջ
I think this generation of woman is making better choices & marrying for the right reasons. When you marry because of a timeline or pressures from family, friends & society it doesn't last. I know this because the divorce rate in the past has been significantly higher! Your beautiful, smart & very much capable of getting man or husband! So be proud that you are single ONLY because you refuse to settle for less! 💕
Mia Radov
Mia Radov 20 օր առաջ
me: *scrolls through tinder with the video in my ears*
W-441 Tibes Trizia
W-441 Tibes Trizia 20 օր առաջ
Watching this again to feel good about myself and not because it’s valentines day tomorrow 😌
Valerie Bartz
Valerie Bartz 22 օր առաջ
Uh... First tip: 👀👀
Khristian Rachelle
Khristian Rachelle 25 օր առաջ
Just got out of my first relationship and me rediscovering this video couldn't be more timely. I love your channel and how honest it feels. You make me feel not alone, which I really need right now.
Anwesha Kashyap
Anwesha Kashyap 25 օր առաջ
Hey Ashley! Would you make a video on how you felt after you moved from Maryland to LA? I recently moved from a small town to one of the biggest cities and honestly it's so freaking hard!
- NotUrOrdinarySipyCup -
- NotUrOrdinarySipyCup - 26 օր առաջ
🤣 Buy a vibrator...I can't it's already too funny. ( The video )
Tjm
Tjm 26 օր առաջ
I got a tinder advert right before this video started 😂
Tidder T
Tidder T 26 օր առաջ
Oh look, a white worshipper is having a hard time and decided to be single
Michelle Sun
Michelle Sun 26 օր առաջ
“Biology baby” 🤣😂
First name Last name
First name Last name 28 օր առաջ
Harry Styles cheated on me with Olivia 🥺 I just realized That I existed to him from my dreams. That’s why I came to this video
Injustice Anywhere Threatens Justice Everywhere
I do believe your point about not letting those around you dictate your life when your single is important. I have gained more independence after high school when i didn't have to worry about 'sociak pressure' of my classmates. Nowadays im just tryna do me. I hope most of my peers are. I was scared to enter a relationship and to a degree i still am because i feel that i have such a toxic relationship with my self that i would just poison any relationship i have been a part of. But im a young man recovering from child abuse , most young people recoving from abuse will have a troublesome phase of 'cleansing' i guess you can call it that... but ive been single all my life for this reason and no biggy. I realize now that i am still becoming my true self, my true cleansed, mature self. Im only 25 i have ,y whole life ahead of me. Thanks for the video a lot of great points here and there.
Sun Shine
Sun Shine 29 օր առաջ
We single people are Awesome 🤩 and whole, anyone that happens to come are way just add to it. I like to just keep busy & not even think of it enjoying my days the way they are. 💙 my motto “No such thing as my other half”.
Mariana M
Mariana M Ամիս առաջ
I love you so much! I feel like were friends (I would sell my shoul to be ur friend btw )
anh
anh Ամիս առաջ
Plz can you do a podcast 😭🙏
YourArtSenpai
YourArtSenpai Ամիս առաջ
Zommyyyyy 😂😂
s Mmann
s Mmann Ամիս առաջ
I love you.
Chloe R.
Chloe R. Ամիս առաջ
“Sexy times left before vagina implodes” 😂🤣 omg I love you
Dimitra 22
Dimitra 22 Ամիս առաջ
Real talk 👏
shut your bitch ass dumb ass lookin ass the fuck up
She is like the older sister I’ve always needed
Papia Popie
Papia Popie Ամիս առաջ
The delirious snowstorm postnatally expect because otter currently amuse despite a unnatural balinese. bored, curly glove
MARIA CROQUEVIELLE RODRIGUEZ
love you ashley
Vivien
Vivien Ամիս առաջ
I love how brutally open and honest you are in this. You’ve inspired me, truly, to put myself first and stop trying to live up to other people’s made-up expectations. I’ve reached my breaking point as it is... all my life my parents had a shitty marriage, my dad died early and I was basically forced to grow up early and now am supporting my 67 year old mother singlehandedly. Almost 30 now but still single, because my mom has insulted every guy I’ve brought home. No one’s ever good enough; why isn’t he 6’ and making six figures? So I’m single and burning out the candle at both ends to afford the LA house that she wanted to buy. I feel chained and trapped. How could adding a man to the equation possibly improve things? Ugh sorry for my rant. Quarantine has finally gotten to me, it seems...
Carly Cunningham
Carly Cunningham Ամիս առաջ
she is actually so intelligent.
Marco Torrefranca
Marco Torrefranca Ամիս առաջ
2:55 - 3:08 I HONESTLY FELT THE SAME IIDEAAA ADJBJWBJABDJABDQ
KevZen2000
KevZen2000 Ամիս առաջ
Female empowerment + Feminism + Gynocentricism = Life long cat lady, and women men avoid, unless they need a quick fuck.
Shit Kink
Shit Kink Ամիս առաջ
I’m gonna start saying zommy 😭😭
S.U.Spenc
S.U.Spenc Ամիս առաջ
Wasn't expecting that intro lol.
Alexandra Levchenko
Alexandra Levchenko Ամիս առաջ
I ALWAYS HAVE A ROCKY TIME
ErinLikesMint _
ErinLikesMint _ Ամիս առաջ
Id rather be single right now even though i am interested in someone. Im looking forward to having a relationship but I’m really enjoying life without one. My worst nightmare is settling down in some small village at home with kids and a husband. Id rather live in a apartment in a big city with my best friend and sometimes dating.
Z
Z Ամիս առաջ
*Me: I want to be in a relationship so bad!* Also me (seeing men 10 meters away): ewww 🙄🙄
Mai Nguyễn
Mai Nguyễn Ամիս առաջ
The infamous baritone electrophoretically order because name separately haunt into a educated step-grandfather. stale, adventurous ink
Alexis Salomon
Alexis Salomon Ամիս առաջ
the intro killed me, loved it
LaMissFlurry
LaMissFlurry Ամիս առաջ
I learned a lot from this! Especially about 'the number'. I was raised christian and it kinda fucked me up ^^' I don't believe anymore. But I do have a lot of issues because of it, also with this 'number', for me, but especially with a partner. I do think that it is understandable when you are young, scared, and had a whole picture in your head (influenced by church and Disney) to never even been kissed and then meet someone you think is the love of your life, but that has made very "casual choices". I attacked myself with the insecurities around it. Shining a light on it light this, to ask what is the 'worth' of a number - it's a very good question! Of course I have grown since then, but still this question added to that growth I think :)
InternetAjay
InternetAjay Ամիս առաջ
Her: Buy a vibrator Me As A Guy:
plantiscrazy36
plantiscrazy36 Ամիս առաջ
you are gonna regret this decision so much
Rose Leon
Rose Leon Ամիս առաջ
wtf r u talking about
Nurul Shafiqah Amir
Nurul Shafiqah Amir Ամիս առաջ
yes! this is definitely bunch of earful goodness that i lookin' for throughout my single yearzzz
Valentina Antonelli
Valentina Antonelli Ամիս առաջ
THIS IS AMAZING.
ankana satya
ankana satya Ամիս առաջ
YOU ARE MY SOUL SIS❤️
Jullah Urquiaga
Jullah Urquiaga Ամիս առաջ
I’m seeing myself on Ashley the before and now her.Ahhhh yes girl there’s nothing wrong with being single.Let’s live the life!
Weronika Kat
Weronika Kat Ամիս առաջ
From my experience and from what I heard people say and in what context about aging gracefully I would say that it's the exact opposite of what you said the meaning was. Aging gracefully is about maturing and not trying to pretend like you're younger than you are. I usually heard that phrase used when referring to bad plastic surgeries, people wearing way too much make up, or people just being on the other side of the spectrum and completely giving up on themselves . Aging gracefully is about living a healthy lifestyle, and taking care of yourself in an age appropriate way without pretending that age is something that doesn't happen to you. It's definitely not about never getting wrinkles. I know that in many different settings people can interpret it differently but I believe that the majority of people interpret it this way.
Summer Sunshine Illusions
Summer Sunshine Illusions Ամիս առաջ
If you’re not 100% ok with being alone, it’s ok. You will never be. Humans were made to connect. That feeling is installed in you. The only feeling you need to develop is a feeling of security and general happiness within yourself.
Andy Besa
Andy Besa Ամիս առաջ
The vibrator- maybe, most of the people don't know, will take yourself on another level, another notch of self love and happiness.
VanityFair
VanityFair Ամիս առաջ
Great thoughts Ashley. You are beautiful through and through. Maybe you will notice that in yourself for real.
Julienne Ulit
Julienne Ulit Ամիս առաջ
I LOVE U ASHLEY ur videos get rid of my anxiety ☺️ i love uuu
Stina Colette
Stina Colette Ամիս առաջ
When the topic of marrying rich came up, I totally got flashbacks of the time I was interested in fashion and thought about becoming a fashion designer and my mom was on the side like "Oh my gosh! I think it would be better if you just married a rich man." Which is kinda funny because there's history of women wanting to enter the fashion industry marrying wealthy men who can provide financial assistance to open their shops...like "courtesans" aka "sugar babies" lol
Fortminorproject
Fortminorproject Ամիս առաջ
Trying to adjust to being alone and single is really hard but I'm trying really hard as well to not be needy or anything else like that and finding friends on top of that has been really hard as well being trans. Always have to remind myself iam not always alone and try and do things that make happy.
Stef with an F
Stef with an F Ամիս առաջ
I relate to this video 1000% At least you aren’t with that douce lord that wore berkentocks and looked like he was 30 and was in a frat. Ok that was a rant but I really disliked him for you
Bailey Betty
Bailey Betty Ամիս առաջ
The berserk innocent clearly follow because helium mainly obtain through a spiffy waste. likeable, unbecoming anime
Naj
Naj 2 ամիս առաջ
7:27 Can’t thank you enough for being so transparent with this point.
Nigol T.
Nigol T. 2 ամիս առաջ
Aha
Khaleesi Khal
Khaleesi Khal 2 ամիս առաջ
I found my husband at 15, he was 20, yes in our country it was legal and it was my choice. We fought to be together for a long time and I dont regret anything but I do hate that i couldnt fully do the things I wanted to experience, We have been together for everything and hes extremely supportive but it was the little things like; I so so so wanted a cat, but he was allergic so I couldnt, I wanted to live in hawaii for my whole life and i couldnt because he just didnt want that. I couldnt break off with him because I was someone who was extremely dependant on him because of the things we went threw, I was also stubborn so I didnt want the people who were unsupportive to be right and get their way. Also since i sacrificed my life and basically my few years I had until 18m I felt as if If i ended it there would be no more life for me. I felt as though I wouldnt have anything so I forced myself to stay. I wanted to be with him just wished that I could live the things I would want to, later on I found things and ways to experience it, thank god. But now that we have kids I hope they never feel that way and they never go for someone older.
Sophia B
Sophia B 2 ամիս առաջ
"i wanna be married by 30" ?????? im 27 and 28 in 1 month so you tell me i have 2 years ? oh lord what i have been doing xD
Stefanie Maria
Stefanie Maria 2 ամիս առաջ
A friend of mine always says that you only want a relationship so bad because you know someone who is in a relationship since forever and they're happy and everything. My parents got into a relationship when my mum was 16 and my dad 18, so when I turned 16 I was like "This is the year! I'm going to find someone now!". I actually got into a relationship but it didn't work out and I didn't get into another relationship since then. I started blaming it on myself, thinking that I would never be able to get a significant other. I'm 18 now and I just don't care so much anymore. When it happens it happens and I don't need to be stressed about that. I still have my friends and my family. Sure I sometimes feel lonley, but then I just think about everyone in my life that already loves me the way I am. And getting a vibrator was actually helpful lmao
Hilu !
Hilu ! 2 ամիս առաջ
This may sound odd to some people, but never chase a man! Let them chase u (if u ar hetero or bi), and people can smell u when u are too desperate..
vivienlara malfoy
vivienlara malfoy 2 ամիս առաջ
I loved being single and I should have sticked with it. I'm now in a relationship with my best friend and I don't know how to tell him that he's overdoing it, I really don't want to hurt him even though I don't have feelings for him. So if anyone has ever been in this situation...any advice?
Tejaswi Reddy
Tejaswi Reddy 2 ամիս առաջ
I always come back to this video whenever I feel sad or feel low and wondering why my 19 y/o is still single and Ashely never disappointssss❤️💯
kim allyson
kim allyson 2 ամիս առաջ
been single for a while now and rewatched this for some validation and now i am afraid of relationships again 🥰🥰 thank you ashley ✨✨
Alvin Cwk
Alvin Cwk 2 ամիս առաջ
Relationship should be built on love, not on the fear of loneliness
lavender_cupcake
lavender_cupcake 2 ամիս առաջ
These comments r beautiful and def passed the vibe check 😌
Michael Grey
Michael Grey 2 ամիս առաջ
I was married twice once in my 20's and once in my 40's. I was looking for the wrong things in a relationship and my expectations were too high and that is why they failed. For now, I enjoy being single but I still think being in the right relationship is a great thing.
Caro Dreamcatcher
Caro Dreamcatcher 2 ամիս առաջ
Excellent vidéo, thanks
And26 21
And26 21 2 ամիս առաջ
I'm 31 and I'm just now trying to develop this mindset
Sara V
Sara V 2 ամիս առաջ
HONey...Damon isnt even old. 27 is young.
Leonora
Leonora 2 ամիս առաջ
i have the opposite issue, i love to be by myself so much that i have a hard time finding myself in a relationship, it just feels weird to me, like im playing a game thats not so fun lol !! i do shopping by my own, cinema, i go out grab a coffee or a drink by my own, stay at a park, even travel by my own ! Before Covid i went to Berlin (im french) for a whole week and it was THAT cool! i could do any activity when i felt like it.
Punkrock Princess
Punkrock Princess 2 ամիս առաջ
Fuck yes. I love you for this. You are truly the most bad ass and inspirational young woMAN ive seen in forever.
Jess
Jess 2 ամիս առաջ
watching this to convince me to leave my boyfriend ahh it’s Christmas Eve though lol I need to wait anyway don’t need that drama at Christmas
c
c 2 ամիս առաջ
how was it?
Meg Wyman
Meg Wyman 2 ամիս առաջ
This video was so incredibly helpful and made me feel a lot better
alma
alma 2 ամիս առաջ
it is weird i feel like you are my friend but you will never know i am even real
Amaya C
Amaya C 2 ամիս առաջ
please make a podcast
Հաջորդը
taking myself on a date ♡
15:08
Դիտումներ 2.3մլն
ArmComedy 915 - Նիկոլ vs Իսկանդեր
26:00
NEW || Alexander Rybak x Sirusho - Stay
3:09
Դիտումներ 491հզր
why i’m leaving LA + where i’m moving next!
28:05
how to: BE HAPPY SINGLE!
18:15
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